i was standing across from this guy on the train today. he was with a girl and he was just, man he was laying it on thick. it’s like he had an earpiece in and someone was on the other end threatening to blow up his heart with nanobots if he didn’t convince someone to have sex with him in the subway car immediately. this guy’s whole approach was i guess shitting on everything around him to make himself look better. that whole attitude where the whole world is idiots and bullshit except for you and the person you’re trying to look good in front of. since we were in close quarters this hero started picking apart a guy in a subway ad. man i feel bad for anyone in subway ads, you will 100% become an inanimate wing man who is immediately thrown under the bus by incredibly boring guys who would have nothing to talk about even if they were invited to guest lecture on how to stand too close and loom over people when talking to them. anyways he analyzed this guy in the ad for, i shit you not, like 50 streets before the girl got off at a stop and he was left alone on the train. i gotta tell you, it’s a weird sight seeing a guy go from 11 to zero in three seconds and then be alone with his thoughts. like those nature documentaries where you see the cheetah drop from a full on sprint to an embarrassed jog like, “you know what? i ate earlier. no, man, i uh, i just thought i recognized that antelope from, uh, school.”
he stared into the eyes of the guy in the subway ad like he was looking for something. and the guy in the ad just looked back like, “i don’t know, maybe you didn’t sound smarmy enough? maybe if you tried being more racist.” the whole trip the guy was going so hard with his flirting though, you could feel waves of energy with nowhere to go radiating off of him, rustling newspapers, startling sleeping babies. the song on my phone started over randomly. eerie shit.
(со страницы buttness)